Powerhouse Youth

What is Dating?
It is important to remember what the bible has to say about developing romantic friendships (dates).   Dating is the *process taken once you believe you have found your husband or wife from the Lord.  Eileen and I were together for months before our friendship moved into dating.  There was no pressure.  We were two friends who were interested in getting to know each other romantically.

Gentleman you must lead the relationship, and ladies you must let him.  The world’s idea of dating is not all that great.  That is why as Christians the bible tells us not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom 12:2).  The world bases a big part of dating on connecting physically while Christians should be prizing spiritual things first.  Its not that you shouldn’t be attracted to people by looks but maintaining sexual purity must be the top of your commitment to yourself and the Lord.

*This process will keep you out of bad relationships

What dating is not:
1.    It’s not an opportunity to connect physically
2.    It’s not meant to fill a void in your life
3.    It’s not meant to change someone else (even if its for the better)
   
Proper Dating for Teens
Introduction:  We are teaching this class to prepare you so you don’t stumble over things most people do, and so you can’t say, “I didn’t know what dating is about or what to expect in dating”.
    There is no time to spend on messed up relationships.  You are called to work for God (Is. 43:1-3).  You must break the repetition of bad relationships.  Bad relationships carry over to next relationships and the other parts of your life.

When Am I Ready?
The two qualifying factors that must be there are:
1.    Relationship with Jesus Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit
2.    Your parents allow you to date (Eph. 6:1)

Your relationship with Jesus is first and most important
because a lot of parents may allow you to date before you are ready.  You have to be mature spiritually and we don’t mean just being born again, what we mean by relationship with Jesus is you know His voice because you have fellowship with Him.  You are growing in the things of God, not that you have to be perfect, but daily striving to be closer to God and live a Christ like life.  (John 14:26 the Holy Spirit will guide you).  Now, if you are living this life to the best of your ability and your parents still say no, the it’s no.  

Other signs that you are not ready to date:
    You have a problem with lust (2 Tim 2:21-22).  Don’t put yourself in that situation.  Take care of the lust problem first before you even think about dating.  

    You believe dating will finally make you happy and fulfilled.  People are not your answer.  If you look to them for your hope and fulfillment, they can quickly become another one of your problems.  Only Jesus can fill you with a love that will take away that empty void.  

    You can’t get along with your friends you have already.  If you are always fighting with your friends, how will you ever be able to build a friendship with a romantic interest?

How Far Is To Far   
The bible tells us not to be sexually immoral (1 Thess 4:3-8).  Physical things are progressive.  God designed them that way because it is for marriage.  The Word also tells us if you have done it in your heart you have done it (Matt 5:28).  Anything that causes you to lust is not for dating.  Anything that causes you to have passion is not for dating.  No matter how the world cheapens physical love, it is sacred to marriage.
When some body joins himself or herself to another person sexually, there is a spiritual tie and bond.  The Word says that you become one flesh (Gen. 2:24).  So you are taking on everything that person is and vice versa.  That is why it is only for marriage.  If you already have, then you need to ask God for forgiveness, renounce the activity and break all bonds between you and the person and NEVER GO BACK TO IT!!!!!
In dating, you are getting to know each other as friends romantically.  Your friendship is based on Jesus and when you allow the physical things to get in there, the relationship quickly will turn into just being physical when you are together.  Physical activity is not for dating.

How to Date
    First of all, it is important to remember that you are not “dating” until you believe that you have found your wife or husband from the Lord.  Before this you are two friends getting to know each other romantically (not physically). You start this friendship by going out on dates.  Here is the proper way to act on these dates.
    Men, you are to be gentlemen.  You are the ones who should ask the girl to go out with you, and ask in person.  You pick her up at her door, don’t ever beep your horn for her to come out.  You need to ask to meet her parents, remember you have nothing to hide.  Be patient and respectful of her parents, she is not yours (Is. 43:1).
    Make sure you have all your time planned out, it’s a good idea on the first date too not go to long, you never know.  Guys ask for some ideas from her to see what she likes to do, but it is your responsibility to have the date planned.  Have her back 5-10 minutes earlier than when she is expected.  While she is with you protect her and treat her with the utmost respect.
    Ladies, first of all don’t ever ask a guy out.  That is his job, he is to ask you out.  Proverbs 18:22 says He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.  It is his responsibility to go and find you.  If a guy is to shy to even ask a girl out, then how is he ever going to lead the relationship?  Also, you always receive him opening the door for you and paying for the date.  You are to treat him with the utmost respect when he takes you out.  Respect him as a Godly man in the way that you act and dress.  Don’t hang all over him, and dress modestly.
    As the relationship continues, keep a close eye on how exclusive you two become from others.  Do not forsake ministries your involved in, your friends or school activities for this person.
    
    The word love is not to be used in dating.  Love is a covenant word (1 Cor. 13).  The word love plays with emotions and can give a false sense of security.  This word is for marriage or somebody making a commitment to a person that is not to be broken like engagement.
    If there is fighting and arguing between the two of you, end it.  Dating is fun, and when the fighting and arguing comes into it then you are not ready yet and you need to step back until you are.

Where Should You Go?
    Gentlemen, first of all it’s your job to lead and plan the date.  Ask for suggestions to see what she likes to do but it’s your responsibility to plan the date.  Your going to want to have your time planned, avoid idle time.  Again, ask her face to face.
    Ladies use wisdom and caution when going out with a guy you don’t know that well.  Don’t just jump in any guy’s car.
    It’s a good idea to date in public places.  Watch out for alone time in the wrong atmosphere.  You and our date keep each other out of trouble, everything we do we want to please God.  Here are some suggestions if you need any ideas:
Coffee shops, out to eat, family events, church events, miniature golf, concerts, etc.
    1 Thess. 5:22 Abstain from every form of evil.  Because you care for the person you are with you wouldn’t want to put them in a compromising situation or make it appear as if they, or both of you were doing something wrong or immoral.  

Who Should I Be Interested In?
    2 Cor. 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked.
    Do not missionary date.  You cannot change someone by getting into relationships with them.  What will usually end up happening is you will get pulled down to where they are instead of them coming with you.  There is nothing wrong with praying for someone to get their life right with God, but don’t date them until they do.
    Look for someone who is born again and spirit filled like you.
    Being unequally yoked does not mean you can’t date someone of a different race.  This verse is talking about Christians and those who aren’t saved, not those of a different race.
    Look for someone you’re attracted to.  Personality does count, but that does not mean you have to date someone your not attracted to.
     They should not be a project.  For example, someone who is born again but their life is a complete mess.
    The Word shows us a perfect example of a Godly woman in Proverbs 31.  The Word also shows us the women to stay away from in Proverbs 7 (the seductress).
    The Word gives the example of how a Godly man is in Titus 1:6.
    In this youth group, if you are thinking about asking a girl out, or ladies if your thinking about going out with a guy you need to ask Rev. Branden and Mrs. Sue.